Starting a new business is hard. Thankfully, lots of people are eager to offer a bunch of unhelpful advice and ask useless questions.
Q: Did you know that 80% of all new restaurants and bars fail?
A: Wait, what? Yeah, I've ctually heard that from every single person I've told that I want to open a bar. Does that statistic apply to bars, too, or just restaurants? You don't know? You're just passing along generic conventional wisdom to kill my enthusiasm? Great thanks.
Q: You'd like an SBA loan? Have you considered the Bank of Mom and Dad?
A: Ah, good point! Why am I sitting in this rec center basement in Harlem at an SBA-approved microlender's table alongside other aspiring entrepreneurs when I could have just asked my parents for the money? Not to get all dark on you, microlender, but my parents are dead. Thanks for the suggestion!
Q: Why don't you put your business on my block? Then I'll come.
A: Yes, okay. I'll put one on everyone's block, and then it will be convenient for everyone.
Q: What's your back up plan?